I'm currently watching Californication, aparently its the most sexually explicit show on tv, obviously who ever branded it that hasn't seen the soft porn thats screens on sbs most nights around 2am.

I'm also counting down the minutes until my phone will vibrate on the wooden box next to me signalling that the guy I'm currently seeing is getting turned on by Californication and wants me to send him some smutty crap to get off to. Hmmmm! K

Just as I wrote that my phone went off with a message from a guy called Anthony that I got with a few weeks ago. His message read "So how serious is this boyfriend of yours?" The answer being "does getting it on about once a week make him my boyfriend?"

My friend Stephanie and I were about to head out in Frankston on Saturday night about 3am, the latest I have ever gone out anywhere, because Steph had been with her boyfriend! While we were waiting for a taxi she started calling my boyfriend and put it on loudspeaker. I freaked out, but before I could stop her, he’d already picked up. He didn’t have her number so he said

"Hello" - some kind of music was in the background, odd kind of music, not really club, not really house and then some chick laughed, “Whose this?”

This would not have phased me... had I not ASKED HIM TO GO OUT WITH ME, that night and had he not said "nah, I'm having a quiet one".

Player.

So this Anthony guy had lunch/dinner with my friend Steph and I at Sophia's on Saturday... I must admit it was more of an audition than a casual dinner and I've got to say, if I was one of those women that had boxes to check... he would have failed miserably:

intelligence 6-7 ...

education- failed year 12

sense of humor- 1 laugh

appearance- looked very cute in a sky blue t-shirt until he made reference to the fact that he'd "prettied" himself up!!

So I sound like a bitch, but maybe if I fill you in a little more you'll understand more of where I'm coming from.

So he looked kind of hot when he first walked in and I thought, as girls do, that perhaps I could date this guy… that was until he told me used to work for KFC. Then he completely lost any element of attraction when he told me he used to do the stocks for them and stole half of the deliveries. Audition over.

He then proceeded to tell me how his washing machine broke down once, so he just hung all his clothes on the washing line and sprayed them with a hose.

hahaha. Yeah. I sure can pick 'em.

So I told Anthony I have a bf, in a text. But I never shagged him and I never promised him anything so I think a text was fine and… he rings me, I answer and instead of being cool he says “What the bloody hell is going on?”

The least attractive thing he could have said. So I pretty much ended up hanging up on him, only to have him ring straight back about 5 minutes later. I handed the phone to Steph and told her to say I was in the other room… he spoke to her for about TEN MINUTES! Talk about desperate. Not that being desperate is something I can’t relate to… at the moment I’m probably about the definition of “desperate”. Desperate for something more than just sex, desperate for cuddles on the couch and walks on the beach next to my house and beers on my back deck and laughs and inside jokes and little kisses and silly presents.

I’ve been with Sam 2 and a half months tomorrow and to think I’ve even been counting seems a little ridiculous because what we have resembles a relationship about as much as Britney Spear’s latest single resembles a hit.

Hmmm, that’s all for tonight

Aims x